Speaking of suffering (see what I did there with that segue) let me know what you think of this little ditty. I look forward to hearing your comments.
“We are not talking about this anymore, Castle.” She swatted
his hand away from her stomach again
as they made their way down the street.
“I’m sorry, Kate, you just look so beautiful.” The tongue in
cheek attitude he’d had in his voice all day was getting on her nerves. Really
getting on her nerves. Like, punching him in the groin so he could never have
children again, nerves. It didn’t help that he was constantly reaching out to
caress her stomach every time they were stopped on the street. She knew he was
just trying to be comforting and it was cute at first but after twenty blocks,
she was pretty much done with him.
“Rick I’m serious, that’s enough. Stop touching the baby.”
“Baby?” Rick had never been so pale in his life as he had
when he heard that shaky voice.
“Hello Mister Beckett.” He choked out while Kate just stared
wide eyed at her father.
“Hey Daddy.” She offered a small, hesitant wave but he didn’t
return it. He was zeroed in on her stomach. She was barely showing but it made
her all the more uncomfortable.
“Did you say ‘baby’?” He looked up at her with a mixture of
disbelief, pride and terror – much Kate had been when she’d heard the news. “As
in…”
“Yeah dad.” Her hand fell to her stomach as she glanced over
his shoulder to see their suspect approaching them. “Listen I gotta”
“So I didn’t get invited to the wedding?” Crap, he sounded
hurt. This was not supposed to happen at all. And now he was being all
traditional? Of course Kate always planned on getting married before having a
child – she’d picked up a few things from her father – but did he need to bring
that up on the street? When their
suspect was right there?
“It was very last minute.” She blushed – of course she
blushed.
“I can see that.” His accusations were attracting attention
and their suspect was coming at them faster. Double crap.
“Look dad I have to get back to work, can we talk about this”
“You’re still working?” Oh that was definitely not the right
thing to say. “Katherine Beckett I know you love your job but you cannot be a cop and an expectant mother.”
And…their suspect heard them – of course he heard them – because he suddenly
stopped in the middle of the street, watching them carefully. She needed a
distraction.
The tears came quite easily. “Daddy, I’m sorry.” She
whimpered, squeezing Rick’s arm so he’d get the message. “I really have to go. I’m so sorry daddy.”
She was running down the street and into their suspect’s arms before Rick could
breathe.
It took him a moment to register his present company and
when he did, he gulped; there was nothing else to do but offer a shaky smile. “Mister
Beckett.” He nodded. “I should also”
“Hold on, Rick.” The way he emphasized the ‘k’ made him
jump. He was never terrified of his father-in-laws until he met Jim Beckett. “We’re
going to have a little chat.” Rick whimpered as the man pulled him down the
street and into his car. This was going to be a long talk.
Kate watched the two men in her life step into the car and
shot a worried glance at her poor Rick before turning back to the man in front
of her. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”
“Who was that man?” He stroked her arms comfortingly; Kate
shivered. “I thought you said you had no family.”
“I-I don’t.” She whimpered. “He’s my ex-boyfriend’s father.
He’s convinced that the baby is his son’s.” Her head shot up, eyes wide and
bloodshot. She was really selling this. “It’s not. I know it’s not.”
“Alright it’s okay.” He made gentle shushing noises, leading
her off the street into the shelter of a random doorstep. “He said you were…a
police officer?”
Oh, the panic in his eyes was unmistakable but his voice
never wavered. Kate weighed her options and took the best course of action
available. “Josh would not leave me alone after we broke up so I told him I was
an undercover cop and that I would arrest him if he came near me again.” She
clung to the man. “I know it was wrong to lie but I was just so scared. I mean,
what was I supposed to do?”
“It’s alright,” he smiled “women lie all the time. It’s a
natural flaw.” He kissed her forehead and Beckett almost butted his head. “Now
let’s get you inside. Lessons are about to begin.” He took her around the
shoulder and led her into a building two doors down where the sign read ‘Redemption and Resurrection Clinic’;
Kate nearly cried real tears.
That night Beckett sat over the toilet like she had every
night since the day she started going to that clinic. And like every night,
Rick sat beside her with a glass of water, rubbing her back silently. No words
were needed, just the need to expel her emotions from the day. After she was
finished, she groped for the glass, took slow, shaking sips and even deeper
breaths. Finally, she looked up into Rick’s eyes.
“I’m sorry for leaving you today.”
“I’m sorry for leaving you today.” They chorused. They
smiled in relief.
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“It wasn’t your fault.” Again they smiled.
“I love you.”
“I love you.” Their foreheads feel against each other and
she winced at the bruise on her temple. He pulled back and avoided her eyes.
His hand stroked her cheek, caressing her skin, not breathing until her hiss of
pain startled him. Oh god.
His voice was no more than a whisper, his heart pulling the
volume from his throat. “I am so sorry I wasn’t there for you today.”
He should have expected it but he barely caught himself
against the bathtub when she shoved him back in a sudden burst of fury. “Don’t
you dare touch me. I don’t need you. Or any man.” Her eyes flashed black; a
demon possessing her bruises.
“No,” he approached the tigress with sweet caution. No
matter what, she would never hurt him. “But I need you.” He saw her jaw clench
and her shoulders sink but her eyes still glowed with blurred fury. “I need you
every day for the rest of my life. I need you so much it hurts to breathe. And
right now I need you to keep me from killing that son of a bitch the next time
I see him. Because I will never let any man – any one – hurt you again.” He was close enough to reach his open palm
to her; an invitation to acceptance rather than forced comfort. She didn’t
smile but the blackness left her eyes and she brushed her fingers over his
skin. Exploring the skin she’d felt and kissed and pressed to her body a
thousand times and somehow discovered them in this moment. Her fingers wrapped
around his palm and she squeezed so tight that he lost all feeling in his
fingers. His eyes never left hers.
Her eyes fell to their joined hands and she felt his pulse
beneath her fingers. Keeping her grounded. “You won’t have to worry about that
anymore.” Her voice was barely her own. “I spoke with Captain Gates this evening.
We have enough now to lay charges on him. As soon as the warrant comes in in
the morning, we can arrest him.” She shook her head, trying to reassure
herself. “He won’t ever hurt anyone again. He won’t ever kill…” She swallowed
the vomit but the images still flashed through her mind. “Those children.” She
leaned over the edge of the toilet and Rick came with her, holding her hair
back and caressing her back as she expelled the last of her demons. “I’m sorry.”
She spit into the bowl, not even bothering to flush just yet. “I know this isn’t
how you wanted to spend our anniversary.”
“Our anniversary?” It was months away.
“The day we first met.” She stared down at her now flat
stomach. “I know you made secret dinner plans for us tonight.”
He gently tilted her chin towards him. “There’s nowhere else
I’d rather been than with you.” He promised. “Besides, we’re dealing with bad
guys; it’s what we do.”
“Dealing with bad guys.” She scoffed. “All thanks to us.”
“All thanks to you,” he offered her a sweet smile and she
took it shyly “my strong, beautiful goddess.” She leaned over the bowl just in
time.
At six a.m. that Thursday morning Kate Beckett banged on the
door of Redemption and Resurrection, her gate poised and tall. The man opened
the door with a bright and shining face until he caught sight of the woman at
the door. “Kate?”
“Mister Benson can you please step outside?”
He glanced behind to the two police officers accompanying
her. “Kate what is this?”
“My name is Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD. Please step
outside, sir.” Each syllable was over-annunciated as though they were difficult
to form. Really, she was containing her anger, fighting the urge to spit at the
man before her. He stepped through the doorway and the moment he touched pavement
she had handcuffed his right wrist. She turned him, pressing his torso into the
doorframe, hooking the other cuff around. She held him there. “Eric Benson you
are under arrest for child abuse, sexual assault, assaulting a police officer
and the murders of Amelia Gardner and Brandon Gardner. You have the right to
remain silent; anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of
law.” Her own words faded into the background as she summoned the courage in
her head to cry finally.
When she opened the door to the loft that night she
immediately ran into her father’s waiting arms. Her tears were spent but her
chest heaved with unshed emotion. Regret, anger, longing. “Dad I’m so sorry I
couldn’t tell you what was going on. Rick and I were supposed to be undercover
and”
“It’s alright Katie, Rick explained everything to me
yesterday. He called me this morning to tell me that you arrested the man and
that I should come over for dinner. He just stepped out to buy a few
ingredients.” His gaze softened. “He’s a good man, Katie. Don’t let this come
between you.”
“What?”
“I know you,” he gave her that knowing smile; the one he
always gave right before a meaningful lecture/advice. “You are so much like your
mother – more than you often realize.” He led her to the dining room where he
pulled out two chairs and they sat together. “About a year after we were
married she worked a case. A hard one. Came home crying almost every night
though no one else would know it. A child sex offender was on the stand;
confessing all his sins. After the case ended, she grew closed off. She finally
confessed to me that she never wanted to have kids because of all the cruelty
in the world.” Kate sucked in the still air around them. “And I told her what I’m
telling you now. For all the evil in the world there is always good. For every
dark corner that we step into there must be light. There is strength and light
and goodness in you and you should –
you must – bring that light into the world. Teach our children to fight the
darkness.” Jim Beckett took his daughter’s hand and held it tightly. “Johanna
did a wonderful job of doing that with you, Katie, and you owe it to the world
to pass that on. One day. I want you properly married first.” He caressed her
empty left hand.
“Oh daddy” the lock clicked and the door opened and Rick’s
lightness brightened the room, circulating the air with warmth from the
outside. “Rick.” She whispered as her boyfriend’s head shot up.
“Kate you’re home.” She stood, stepping slowly towards him,
studying his soft features and loving eyes. “Kate what’s wrong?” His mind was
racing with a million worst case scenarios but hers was focused on a single
best case. “Kate what happened?” She was nose to nose with him – well, eye to
lips with her shoeless height difference. Still battered and bruised, she
reached up a hand to caress his cheek while he dropped the groceries, panic
shaking his bones. “Kate?”
“I love you.” She pressed her lips to his, ignoring the
sting. “I love you Rick Castle.” She announced, only to him. She knew her
father would turn away and step into another room. “I love you and one day I’m
going to marry you and then we’re going to have a child and between the two of
us that child will never know sadness and death except in the context of
goodness and hope that our child can
bring to world. How does that sound?” His response was to kiss her. So sweet
and so fully that neither of them heard Jim Beckett pause to smile at his
daughter and future son-in-law as he left them in peace.
No comments:
Post a Comment