My kids and I have
always had a fairly open relationship. It's been a rule of James's ever since
we gained custody of two troubled preteens. Honesty as often as possible. And
with a few recent omissions (re: Sandra discovering my secret, and the reason
for my break from reality) we've actually stuck to that rule.
It made having the sex
talk with a very confused 14 year old who just lost her mother so
much easier. It might have led to some uncomfortable conversations
when Sandra started to...you know...but I think we were better off keeping the
lines of communication open.
It's funny how you
start to regret your decisions when they come to bite you in the ass.
You see ever since I
came home, I've been unable to kill. And I accept that as part of the
readjustment process. I'm much more balanced now and I'm not going to go off
the deep end any time soon. But it does mean that all the energy I've normally
spent on hanging a man from a tree by his spleen (Halloween 2006; classic) is
now bubbling around inside, seeking release. Of course my loving husband has
been there to help me release some of that...energy.
Sex. We've been having
a lot of sex. Just everywhere. All the time.
Pretty much the moment
we're both home (sometimes earlier) the clothes come off and we're ready to go.
Sometimes we can't even wait for clothes to come completely off or for our
partner to actually be present before we get started - but let's be real,
frantic sex when he barely gets his pants unzipped before he pushes you up
against the kitchen counter is fucking hot.
Now normally this
desperation for release is fine; the kids are always out late (Sandra is either
at work or band practice and Jason, sweet Jason, is on his third girlfriend
since July) so we have the house to ourselves for a few hours. But sometimes
one of them comes home early and we get caught in a compromising
position.
Seven times.
Our fool-proof system
for getting off without the kids catching us is failing miserably. The kids
know we have sex - honesty goes both ways in our family - but actually catching
your parents like that is enough to traumatize any child. Between Sandra's
discovery, my break down and now this, we're very lucky neither of the kids
have taken drastic measures. Actually, they've been taking the situation very
well.
With the exception of
Sunday night.
The kids were home all
day studying and whatnot so James and I had a quick round in the bedroom for
once before joining the family for some quiet home life - something very rare
in this family as you can imagine. James and I emerge from our bedroom to find
the kids set up in the living room with two empty chairs in front of them.
They had a fucking
intervention.
Literally.
Two teenagers sat down
with their parents and discussed sex. And how we need to stop. They called us
"hormonal teenagers who need to control their urges in favour of public
decency."
Shut up. They're not
right.
It's my house for
god's sake.
Regardless, we agreed
to tone it down to honour the sanity of our children. The things we do for
them.
So James and I stopped
having sex outside our bedroom - no matter how great the laundry room is
for...never mind - and the kids haven't caught us going at it like rabbits
since Sunday.
I may be regretting
our "open and honest" policy just a little bit but not enough to
throw it out the window. I mean those rules have gotten us through some tough
times. Sandra was able to tell me when she hit puberty, when she got her first
boyfriend, when they had sex for the first time, when she got her first F and
that she’d ruined her chances of getting a scholarship; even Jason told me when
he hit puberty, and got his first girlfriend.
I pray to god that boy
hasn't had sex yet. The thought of little Jasons running around before I'm too
old to care just gives me a headache.
I am glad that my kids
share things that are important to them. James and I try to do the same even if
it leads to incredibly awkward conversations like why your underwear is hanging
off the china cabinet.
But that is not the
point. The point is I am incredibly horny and James just left for work. And
Daniel just drove away. And the kids have already left for school. And I have
to go to work in a couple minutes.
Fuck.
As always, dear
readers,
Stay Safe
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