Your Mid-Week Update for 01/28/15

You’ll never guess who I had lunch with on Saturday.

Jason’s Vice Principal.

Apparently, his grades are slipping and he comes to class with blood-shot eyes and a darker demeanor. The school thinks my son’s doing drugs. I assured Vice Principal Tight Ass that I would talk to him but I didn’t think the accusations were true.

Of course Judy gave me the benefit of the doubt, warning me that the only reason it hasn’t been officially reported to the school board is because the two of us have history (thank god for that summer camp). I promised that I would have a talk with my son and we parted ways with her insistence that we “do this again, some time.” I pray it isn’t too soon. That woman’s voice is just…grating – like several packs a day, grating.

Anyways, I waited until James got home before we had another family meeting. They only seem to occur when something potentially disastrous has occurred (and the time the kids caught James and me having sex). It turns out that Jason has been taking caffeine pills and pulling all-nighters to work on his computer.

Obviously we had a talk about priorities and health and I think he genuinely seemed to listen – though Sandra found the whole thing hilarious. Jason confessed he was having trouble concentrating, he felt restless, and he thought the pills would help.

And that’s the story of how we booked an appointment to test Jason for learning disabilities.

In other news, Daniel has been avoiding me. I can’t say that I blame him but I sort of miss him. He’s still following me but we don’t talk anymore. It’s just a curt nod as he drives off in the morning.

I hate it when my stalkers stop being friendly.

Well, back to work.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

Your Mid-Week Update for 01/21/15

I killed another one! I realize that one dead man in nearly a month is not exactly groundbreaking for me but I am incredibly proud of myself so no one had better ruin this moment for me.

Dr. Owlface says that I shouldn’t feel discouraged if I can’t immediately return to my normal way of life and that these things take time. He’s still not my favourite person in the world but I have to side with him in this instance. He’s been a big help these last few months in helping me come to terms with my struggle for control. Patience is not my strong suit but so far it’s working.

And I just quoted my therapist as a legitimate source for reassuring myself. I need a drink.

EDIT: Okay, I’m back. As I was saying, I killed another one earlier this week. It wasn’t a particularly spectacular kill by any stretch of the imagination but I made sure Daniel knew it was my birthday present to him.

Alright so I ran over his garbage man and put the body in his bin where I knew he’d be the first one to find it. Like I said, not my best work but this time I was there to see his face when he took out the trash the next morning and my god, it was worth having to give my car an impromptu wash in the middle of what had to have been the coldest night in January so far.

His face got all red and splotchy, and he got this unibrow look from staring at the body too long – like he was too confused and shocked to be furious. But then he did exactly what I was hoping he would do: nothing. He did absolutely nothing; he piled some garbage bags on top of the body and walked away. I knew we were on the same page about this: our little game is too much fun to share with anyone, especially the police.

I was worried for a little bit after our kiss that he would want to step up his game but I think he’s softening up to me. I think he’s starting to understand the rules of our game.

And yes, since so many of you caught my not-so-subtle story last week, I’ll finish it.

Daniel and I did kiss at his birthday dinner and no, it wasn’t bad but no, I wasn’t cheating on James. To be perfectly honest it was his idea. Remember all those months ago when James and Daniel met, and my husband was so excited because he came up with a plan to finally beat him? Well, this is his plan. To distract Daniel as long and as often as possible. Keep him off my trail by keeping him as close as possible.

And it started with a kiss.

We were arguing in the kitchen – well mostly he was just calling me rude names and telling me how much he wants to fucking kill me – and he stepped in close to sort of growl at me when I just looked at him and…kissed him. It wasn’t a long kiss or a particularly memorable kiss but it worked. He stared at me, still seething mad, and then he kissed me. He was quiet aggressive. It wasn’t unpleasant.

But after a few minutes of that, he shoved me against a wall and told me “this isn’t over” and walked back into the dining room like nothing had happened.

James came in to check on me while I was readjusting everything and he knew without even really looking that we’d set the plan into motion.

Make no mistake, dear readers, I love my husband dearly; even more so for the trust he’s placed on me since we began this endeavor to rid our lives of this man. The steps that come next will not be easy for either of us but I love him and I’ll do my best not to cross his line.

But I have to do whatever it takes to make sure Daniel never catches me. I have to make sure he can’t hurt me or my family and that’s all there is to it.

No matter the cost.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

Your Mid-Week Update for 01/14/15

Happy Birthday, Daniel Westburn, here’s to a successful year ahead.

Before we start, I'd like to thank none of you for pointing out that I accidentally wrote 2014 on the last update. It has since been corrected. Thanks.

Things with Charlotte and I have been going really well, lately. So well that I got myself (and my charming husband) an invitation to Daniel’s “birthday dinner with friends” last night. Three of his work colleagues and one college roommate gathered in a semi-expensive restaurant to celebrate the birth of the asshole who’s been stalking me for the last six months (goodness, how time flies).

I liked them.

They didn't hide their opinions but still spoke respectfully while they roasted the birthday boy. I hate two-faced people (Heather, I mean you, make no mistake about that) which is what made me hate Daniel even more.

He is lying to everyone in his life, I find it disgusting.

My situation is entirely different and you know it.

It turns out that his work friends thought that he spent his nights with his wife and his wife thought he spent his nights at work - working cases that he hasn't taken on because he's been with me.

The whole situation came out over dessert and no one would actually discuss it. The whole table just sat in silence, refusing to make eye contact. It was hilarious.

So I laughed.

Which, naturally, made Daniel's already bright red face darken - who knew a man's face could turn that shade of purple. He insisted on speaking with me in private.

That man has a very foul mouth. But it was so worth it. We may have kissed. James thoroughly enjoyed the evening, said it was nice to get out and meet new people - he also really liked Charlotte. We made plans for the four of us to go out later in the month.

You know, I can’t remember the last time we made friends with another married couple and it didn’t end in murder or someone getting arrested.

All in all, it was a very successful evening. I cannot complain.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

Your Mid-Week Update for 01/07/15

Charlotte is a dream and I’ve found my next victim.

Those aren’t related.

Also: I hate winter and “Friends” is on Netflix.

Those also aren’t related.

Let’s just start with Charlotte. Lunch with her was actually really nice. I’ve never had many girl friends in my life, I usually don’t have the time or I just kill them. It was surprisingly nice to have time away from the pressure of murder. I lied to her about how I knew her husband but other than that, I could just be myself. We got along very well and I wouldn’t mind spending more time with her. It doesn’t hurt that her husband is my stalker and our friendship irritates him to no end. I get the feeling that she also needs a friend right now. I know she’s frustrated over her husband’s job. She supported him when he switched careers to become a private investigator but now she never sees him; he’s always on assignment, she says.

I did apologize – as a client. She is the sweetest, really. She’s too good for Daniel – but more women are. It is nice to talk to someone. And if I also happen to learn tidbits about the object of my loathing then so be it.

I think, no matter what happens with Daniel, I’m going to try and stay in touch with Charlotte. She’s so lovely.

But on the subject of Daniel, I think I’ve figured out who I should kill next to get under Mr. Westburn’s skin. I don’t want to say anything because I don’t want to jinx anything and I still need to do a bit of research but I think this one will be fun but messy.

I’ll keep you updated…pun intended.

Okay, what else was there? Oh yes, winter.

I hate it.

Actually, I like the snow, and I prefer the cold, and the practicality of hiding bodies and using the elements is so nice; it just sucks. People are stupid. At the first sign of snow it’s like they forget how to drive. Or be courteous, or just generally appreciate the situation they’re presented with.

I’m not bitter about being cut off on the road and then getting stuck before I could go after them. No…

Not like I’d kill them anyways. While I’m very proud of myself for Barry the Barista, it’s still just one kill in MONTHS of abstinence. There was a time when I would be going after three or four kills per week. Then I got custody of the kids and I had to cut back. But this is ridiculous.

It’s been four months since I came home from the hospital, it’s time to start recovering. It’s time to get back to my normal routine.

Also “Friends” is on Netflix. That’s really all I had to say about that.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe