Your Mid-Week Update for 02/25/15

So…some things have happened this week. I don’t just have quiet weeks anymore, do I? I should probably stop fucking things up. But in any case.

It started out innocently enough; I spent Saturday with Charlotte and we had a lovely time. I am always sincere in that, she really is such a sweet woman. Horribly filthy sense of humor but sweet.

We went out for brunch and then we went window shopping because neither of us are actually that interested in shopping when we don’t need anything. I know, crazy. Me: not fitting into a stereotype. Then, we had a late lunch and walked around downtown for a bit, just talking. Sometimes not talking. We just enjoyed each other’s company. Gay!

Oh my god, did I just bully myself?

Anyways…

We were walking around when we noticed a poster for some independent play performing across the street. So we walked in. I didn’t think people did that after 25 – just do things on a whim – but we did. It was a terrible play but we had a fantastic time and we made plans to go out again later.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I think I have a new girlfriend.

That was the good part of my weekend.

First thing Sunday morning – I’m still in my pajamas – and who should bang on my door but Daniel Fucking Westburn. I was actually glad to see him. If he was this mad that I was just spending time with his wife, then I was really getting under his skin. That means that he’s not paying attention to me. I’m free to kill as I please.

Yes, I realize I haven’t actually been killing as I please but I think once I really establish a relationship with both of the Westburns, I’ll be set to start up again. I haven’t killed for fun in such a long time, I hope the rules haven’t changed.

On any other day I would have been very happy to see Daniel but James was still at work and I answered the door in my pajamas. He stormed in, cussing me out about “corrupting his wife” – to which I promptly asked how he thought I’d corrupted his wife. He was so red it was precious. One thing led to another and he pushed me against the closet door and we kissed. Quite forcefully, he’s getting better. He grabbed my breast, he started to lift my nightgown – because I’m old school like that – and then I hear:

“What the fuck, mom?”

Yup.

Fuck.

Jason came down and saw us. And he was not happy with me. There was a lot of yelling, he really put me in my place – if the situation were real. I would never cheat on James. Please don’t mistake what we’re doing now for cheating. We’ve made a tactical decision as a couple and I stand by it.

But Jason didn’t know that. And he was pissed. I suppose I should take that as a good sign. He and James are not always on the best terms but now, I think I’ve officially put them on the same side.

So there’s that.

Neither of the kids talked to me for the rest of the day so that answers the question of whether or not Jason told Sandra. James knows the entire situation but he’s agreed to feign ignorance which turned out to be a good idea.

Last night, Jason came to me and told me that after a lot of thinking, he’s decided to forgive me. Not only that but he promised not to tell James what I’d done.

Provided he receive an “allowance” every week to spend as he chooses.

The little fucker.

I’m somewhere between proud, worried, and pissed off. But I’ve agreed to his terms mostly because it’s a lot easier than telling him the truth.

I haven’t even figured out how I’m going to convince Sandra to visit her mother but this is definitely not helping my cause. I’ve got James working on a solution, there are other things to worry about. Like my blackmailing son. And what Daniel is going to do with this situation we’re in.

Like I said: fucking things up royally is the name of the game.

I could really use a knife right about now. Just for fun.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe