Your Mid-Week Update for 10/25/17

I’ve had a confusing weekend. James texted last week and suggested we play cops and robbers. I’ll admit, I thought it was going to be a sex thing but it turned out to be a car thing and way more fun. Not really. Our sex life is very healthy. Stop asking.

So, the “car thing” was a roleplay of cops and robbers where we sit in a car, with a sunglasses and an unused radar, and pick out victims. We made a game out of it, calling out a colour or number and the first car that passes matching our description, we follow. Either we’d lose the car or we’d follow it to their destination and kill them. I learned so much about how police “tail” a suspect, and covert movement this weekend than I have in the entire time we’ve been married.

That’s not to say James hasn’t taught me things about his work, or shared his experiences.

Shut up.

We played his game of cops and robbers all weekend but at night, we played my game but I have to admit, I might have liked his version better. Maybe I’m just not as into roleplay as I previously thought.

On a completely unrelated note, Halloween is coming up and I haven’t decided if I’m going out this year. Unless something upsets my plans, I usually go out in costume and terrorize a random neighbourhood with death and dismemberment. This year, I almost forgot it was coming up and I have yet to find my location for the year. Am I too old to use Halloween as an excuse to maim and terrorize people?

God I hope not. I’ll just have to do a few midnights runs around the city to find my target in time. And I do mean those runs literally. I haven’t abandoned that little nugget. In case anyone was wondering. It’s still as exhausting as ever and I’m still dreading the early morning chill. Why is it so cold and yet my body is so hot?

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

Your Mid-Week Update for 10/18/17

Exercising is difficult. Not the act itself – well, yes – but forming a new habit. Especially good habits. As I’ve discovered the hard way over the years I have a very addictive nature. I start something that’s probably not good for me (or others) and it sticks. My working theory now is that I can form good habits that same way.

So far that hasn’t been the case but there’s a first time for everything.

Instead of going to the gym last week, I started running in the mornings. It actually felt really good when the weather was nice but Friday was so cold I got about five minutes from the house before I had to turn back. But I do like the benefits of running. Physical exercise, fresh air, early morning awareness; and if I happen to meet a fellow running and stalk them into the park before bashing their head into a tree and stabbing them twelve times then that’s just bonus.

Speaking of which. I have definitely slept in this morning and if I’m going to start this supposedly healthy habit I need to be consistent. That means going out at the same time every day. Which means I’m running late – pun intended?

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

Your Mid-Week Update for 10/11/17

I’ve never been overly athletic. I’ve gained muscle and some stamina from my extra-curricular activities but I’m not skinny or a picture of health. I’d like to think that I can still do all the things I want to do, despite my body.

A victim got away from me yesterday and I had to chase him down to kill him. I was winded and it took significant effort to finally subdue him. I think I should face the fact that I’m not as young as I once was. I know how time works – I know that I’m getting older – but in the past, I didn’t have to work as hard to chase someone down or snap their neck. The simple answer is that I need to start going to the gym or working out at home OUTSIDE of my murder sprees. It’s not shameful; it’s just facts.

Still, I’ll admit it was a little disheartening when I couldn’t do something that once came so easily to me. I can be proud that I’m doing something I truly enjoy – not for a full-time job but certainly a priority in my life; and I’m definitely more fit than most of my colleagues at the office.

I’m going to be more physically active this week. Walk to work. Maybe hit the gym. I’ll talk to James and see if there’s something we can do together. I think it’d be good for us to find a couple’s activity outside the bedroom. It certainly couldn’t hurt our communication skills – they’re not bad, there’s just always room for improvement.

That’s the theme for the week: Always Room for Improvement.

I’m sure this is basic grammar but why do we capitalize some words in a title but not others? If there are any English majors in my reader-base, please comment and let me know.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

Your Mid-Week Update for 10/04/17

Ah the first fall of snow. It's cold, slushy, and perfect for body disposal. The body may be eventually found but all of that mush and snow destroys crime scene evidence. It's more than never getting caught, it's knowing that they are so close and will never get there. Now once winter properly hits, it presents its own challenges but that first snow makes me feel like a kid again: I just want to play.

The first snow fall also makes finding victims easier. People forget how to drive for a few hours that morning. I thought I would be more frustrated with them but it’s tradition now. People who had the foresight to get their tires changed before the first snow are possible more annoying. I would make an appointment to get my tires changed except the rest of the week calls for sunny skies and warm weather. Is it worth it? You’d think these minor daily problems wouldn’t plague me but those are the things that should get to you; the things you can change. Let it bother you for a little bit, then fix it and move on. That’s how I handle laundry, at least.

Yesterday I drove past one of those chain mechanic shops and followed one of their customers home. I garroted him what turned out to be a few blocks from his house. Tragic. The news attributed it to gang violence which is apparently a problem in that area.

I really need to thank the gangs of this city and area. They get blamed for so much of my shit. I should send them a basket. What do gangs like? Fruit? Guns? Do you think they’re muffin people? Where would I even leave it?

Questions that will plague me until I find a solution.

Do I have any gang-affiliated readers? Let me know; I’ll order an Edible Arrangement.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe