I’ve often
thought about writing a book. Some tell-all tale about my life as the secret
killer of [name redacted. Obviously] published anonymously as the next best-selling
novel of a generation. And then I remembered that this is the internet and
nothing is anonymous. I miss those days. When you could be or say anything and
people had to believe you because all of your information is immediately
accessible. I grew up just after the epic age of rampaging murderers, charming
killers who could lure you down any dark alley. When it wasn’t safe to even
walk in groups or stay at home alone. What a time to be alive!
Literally.
There were so many active serial killers roaming the streets, you were more
likely to survive a colonial winter. Do you know how many…
…
I went
downstairs for a cup of coffee and genuinely forgot what I was about to say.
Don’t you hate that?
The point
is, I’m living in a time where killing is not as easy as playing the victim and
charming people into your car. I never truly had those days but now, true
anonymity is a thing of the past.
I know that
one day the world will discover all of my secrets but until then, I’m going to
enjoy my little corner of the world and stave off the book writing for right
before my trial – poison the jury pool. Not that I plan on ever getting caught.
I’ve thought long and hard about how I want my days to end. Nothing will ever
be quite good enough to close on the greatest serial killer of the 20th
and 21st centuries. Oh yes, I’ve checked the numbers. I made it to
the top! I wonder if this is a record the Guinness people will want to
recognize.
One day my
work will be studied. I guarantee.
Or perhaps
no one will ever find out and I’ll fade into obscurity.
I don’t
know which I’d want more: to be finally recognized for my years of hard work;
or to never be caught even in death.
Decisions,
decisions.
As always,
dear readers,
Stay Safe
No comments:
Post a Comment