Thank god
for snow. It just isn't Christmas without snow. I know plenty of places don't
have snow for the holidays but I've lived here my entire life and change is not
something I'm interested in.
Besides,
bodies are much easier to hide in snow piles than gravel. In celebration of
mother nature, I thought I'd do a few festive kills to get into the spirit.
Three, in fact.
And the following are anecdotes from my week:
Candy canes
can be easily whittled down to a sharp point. This is not new information but
it is always useful.
Have you
ever string someone up with ornament hooks? It takes a lot of work. More than
setting up the Christmas tree – which is enough to make you turn to murder.
Inspired by
that one novelty song, I ran over someone's grandmother. I assume she was a
grandmother. She looked grandmotherly.
Either way
I had a lot of fun and really got into the spirit.
I think
it's going to be a good Christmas.
***
I just got a
call from my mother. I've thus far avoided the inevitable obligatory
invitation. It's not that I don't love my mother. Well...I've discussed our
relationship at length.
We haven't
spoken in a few months, actually and it was a polite conversation. I also
haven't heard from my sister in a while. Maybe I'll give her a call today. I'm
inviting them all to Christmas dinner. I'll clean the house for my father
without complaint and harbor all my mother's snarky comments and make it work.
Because
that's really the true meaning of Christmas: making it work.
I hope you
all have a wonderful holiday season and don’t die because I hate seeing my
reader count dwindle without my permission.
And as
always, dear readers,
Stay Safe
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