Your Mid-Week Update for 09/26/18

I’ve been thinking a lot about poisons.

For centuries it’s been considered the “women’s” tool for murder, considered clean and tidy, devoid of the pure violence involved in killing someone with your bare hands. To that I say: bullshit.

Poison is messy. It’s dirty and cold. It is by no means a coward’s way out and the men who say that it’s only for women are wrong and just too scared to actually work hard at their murder. Poison takes careful planning and an iron will. You can’t claim to accidentally lace the soup with arsenic. You can’t claim self-defense. You must stand up to the world and proudly declare that you would rather society didn’t exist without this one person.

That being said, historically, poison – and in particular arsenic – has been used almost exclusively by female serial killers.

Every time I have the idea to poison a victim, I spend hours contemplating if I should because it would feel like a step back for feminism and the divide between male and female killers. I don’t want to contribute to the stereotyping and misogyny of my fellow women. But I also don’t want to censor or stifle myself because I’m worried about society will think of my choices. I want the freedom to do what I want – even something traditionally feminine without feeling like my every move is being scrutinized.

Do you see my dilemma?

I want to call myself a feminist, but I also constantly question my actions and whether my moves are motivated by pure desire or a desire to move away from stereotypes.

Killing in general is considered a masculine act anyways- the act of destroying – the act of tearing things apart with your bare hands or otherwise spilling blood. This doesn’t take into account the murder that doesn’t involve loin cloths and guns and otherwise bloody messes. And why is blood considered masculine anyways? Bleeding is very much a feminine thing.

I remember seeing some joke about how more women get away with murder because thy are better and getting blood out of things – at least I think it was a joke – I don’t know how accurate those statistics would be. But honestly? Yeah. I got really good at scrubbing out blood from my clothes long before I started killing. It’s made my job a lot easier.

The point I’m trying to make is that killing of any kind – not just poison – is not a men’s game. It is very much a feminine action to deal with the life of another being. Destruction may be considered masculine, but women are much better at it.

Should we even be considering “acts” masculine or feminine? They are actions that anyone is capable of – here’s just some societal stigma around one person or the other committing those actions.

Why am I so preachy today?

I guess I spent a lot longer than I realized worrying about whether to poison this woman in the coffee shop. I started thinking about it and even as I dropped the rat poison in, I still wondered if it was too cliché to use poison as my weapon of choice.

But you know what? It shouldn’t matter. I want the freedom to kill people however I want, and I will damn well do what I please.

I feel a lot better getting all that off my chest. Thanks for listening to my rant. I know you don’t have a lot of options when it comes to learning about the inner workings of a serial killer, but I appreciate your readership nonetheless.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe