Last week
was a bit of a shock. For everyone involved. I want to give you a little more
detail before we move on to this week’s kill. Spoiler alert: it involves acid
and snow.
Okay now I
want to talk about that because it was really cool. Kids: household products
are amazing for my purposes but if a serial killer likes it, maybe you should
be careful around it. Just saying. I’m looking out for you really.
Our city
has really been hit by this polar vortex. The snow is not favorable but the
freezing cold temperatures have been the real pain in the ass. And the fingers.
And toes. And face. If you’re outside for more than a few minutes, it’s just
shooting pain over everything. I can’t imagine how our homeless population are
coping. I briefly thought about how easy it would be to lure a few away with
the promise of shelter and then senselessly murder them but that felt cruel. So
I brought coffee to the two guys who were huddled near the office and offered
to buy them anything else they needed.
I’m not a monster,
folks. Well…I am. But…a human monster.
So I needed
to find someone else to target but I didn’t want to spend too much time outside
hunting. This is not the time to be stalking someone through an alley or
waiting outside their place of employment to lure them away from the cameras.
And then it
landed in my lap and I just had to take advantage. I made the victim come to
me. A pipe cracked in the basement. Any easy fix and only required one repairman
for a few hours (which was stretched into two men over the course of two visits).
The first time, the partners came to check out the situation and promised to
come back the next day with the necessary parts. Typical. The next day, only
one man showed up, prepared to spend some time working on the problem. I let
him fix the problem and then I offered him a cup of tea before he left which he
accepted. For flavor, I used drain cleaner (I thought he’d appreciate the
irony. He did not) which went down and then I pushed him out the back door
before it all came back up. While he was writhing in agony, I went out to his
truck and sent a text from his work phone about leaving the residence and having
to take care of something personal. I drove the truck around back, loaded up the
still vomiting repair man and headed off to burry him before dropping the car
off in long term parking at the airport. All in all, I very routine kill. Until
I got home and had to clean up the astronomical mess he’d made all over the
back porch. Thank god for snow and polar vortexes for freezing unnecessary
waste and making disposal much easier. Can you imagine if I’d pulled this stunt
in the summer? With the heat and the grass soaking everything up? Gross! I may
go back and forth about getting my hands dirty with blood, but I hate handling any
other bodily fluids.
It’s just
gross.
And I spent
so much time talking about this kill that I have to go to work before I can give
you more details about Casey and the new development in our lives. Basic info:
she’s 15, looks like James, and has the self-confidence of a girl who grew up
with nothing but self-assured women. She is open and vocal and that could be a
problem. Or it could be a lot of fun. We’ll see.
As always,
dear readers,
Stay Safe
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