Wednesday, 31 July 2019

Your Mid-Week Update for 07/31/19

How To Be A Serial Killer 101:

Don’t Get Caught, Don’t Have a Signature, and Do It Well.

Don’t get caught is the most obvious rule. If you want to do something consistently, you can’t be found doing it poorly. And a huge part of murder is getting away with it. Key things to avoid include security cameras, reliable witnesses, trace DNA like fingerprints and hair, and creating patterns.

Spatial awareness is essential which can be difficult if you enjoy getting swept away with a murder. But you don’t want to slash a throat, then turn around and realize that someone could clearly see you leaving the scene. Know your city well. Know your escape routes, where the cameras area, which businesses close and when. Don’t look like you shouldn’t be there.

Short hair is easier to manage but if you have long hair, make sure it is clean and tied up. You don’t want breakage. Gloves are a must. Short of burning your fingerprints off, it’s the best way to preserve your identity. I like the non-powder medical gloves that you can buy at the pharmacy. Oily fingers will be your downfall. Drink lots of water, avoid oil-based hand moisturizers, and fix your dandruff.

Patterns and “signatures” are dangerous. I understand why other killers have them but I think it is the biggest mistake. Yes, if you have a compulsion to kill that you can’t control and you want to get caught on your own terms: taunt the police, have a strong MO that makes the public fear you. But if you want to do this long term, you have to change it up.

Never the same age, gender, or race in a row. Never the same method of murder in a row. Never the same location in a row. If you circle back to something, make sure you’re not creating a long pattern. I track my kills because I’m confident (sometimes my husband says overconfident) and I’ve been doing this so long that I need to track patterns. Don’t let there be a “cop with fresh eyes” who finds your pattern. Generally, they have a lot more resources than you.

“Doing it well” is a concept that’s a little more difficult to track on a list. Doing it well means being intentional. Never leave the house unless you have a plan. Successful murder is not an improvisation game. And being intentional also involves proper execution of your plan (pun intended). If you want a chaotic, messy kill, then make it messy. If you want a clean, quick murder, then do it. Because a kill that goes wrong is a kill that gets you caught. Be engaged from start to finish. A murder is not just one act, it is an entire event that can last for hours or days.

These are concepts I’m starting to pass on to Casey. I haven’t encouraged her to kill anyone yet but I know that will have to come. I’m curious about being a non-hands-on mentor.

I’m maintaining my resolve to quit murdering. But I’ve collected a fair amount of knowledge over the years and at least I can pass some of it on. See the next generation take countless lives.

It’s the dream.

Well, the dream would be to live in a small town in Italy with my shirtless husband, and murdering daily but no one says anything because we’re some sort of royal crime family.

But this is nice too.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

Wednesday, 24 July 2019

Your Mid-Week Update for 07/24/19


I understand that I have been vague in my updates for the past few weeks and there was a reason for that.

Suspense gets views.

Also, I’ve been dealing with a difficult situation that I wasn’t necessarily ready to discuss with all of you. So I didn’t.

But now it’s somewhat resolved so let’s get into it.

First thing you should know: Jason is still missing. The news reported that Charlotte’s body was found and the police confirmed that she was responsible for the death of the politicians so as far as everyone is concerned, the case is closed. The police are no longer asking my family for questioning however in their latest voicemail, they asked me to contact them if I heard from Jason.

I haven’t. I don’t even know how to get a hold of him at this point. We are afraid to go home even if our names have been cleared because, frankly, our actions were suspicious and I don’t know how to answer their questions just yet.

Maybe Jason went home. Maybe he’s sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast as we speak; just waiting for us to walk through the police tape.

The thought had occurred to me. Maybe I should follow up. Just to make sure.

The other thing you need to know is: I found the killer that was stalking us.

It was Casey.

Turns out she wasn’t as okay with everything as she seemed.

She picked up a knife at one of our million rest stops and snuck out. Because I didn’t think to suspect her.

She said she wanted people to find the trail of bodies and follow it to us. To me.

I admit I was caught between anger and pride.

I waited so long to be able to share my life with my children. I lost my change with Sandra. Jason may be lost to me for good. And now there’s Casey. Who killed without any remorse, and though her intention was to hurt me, I found myself oddly intrigued at the idea of teaching this little psychopath.

Or I could have just killed her as revenge and to keep my secret safe.

She’s not family. Not really. James might get over it – I didn’t tell him any of this, any of what she confessed in anger when I told her that our journey wasn’t over – but what else might we lose if Casey died?

A second chance?

So I decided not to kill her. Instead I gave her a choice: take some pointers from me, or I let James know exactly what his daughter did to his wife and he can decide her fate. I knew he wouldn’t hurt her but she didn’t know that.

She took my offer of assistance.

Then I told James the truth.

He was angry with me for keeping the secret. And for thinking about killing Casey. He said she’s family now. And you don’t kill family. As much as you might want to.

So Casey lives no matter what.

And I might as well teach her how to kill properly since she seems to have taken to it naturally.

It’s all I ever wanted in a daughter. And now I have her.

Later in the day, I’m going to go check out the house. Just in case. I’ll do some inventory and see what the police did or did not find.

And then maybe we’ll take a little family outing to a local kill spot. See what Casey can really do.

It has occurred to me that the last time we were here, it didn’t end well. A girl in the house wanted to kill and she was murdered for it.

I’m not as concerned this time. Casey isn’t Sandra. She isn’t family no matter James says.

If she gets herself killed for what she did, then she dies.

I’ll sleep well.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

Wednesday, 17 July 2019

Your Mid-Week Update for 07/17/19


One of my favourite victims actually took me about 3 hours to kill. I was inspired by the story of the babysitter fielding phone calls from a killer who was, in fact, in the house the entire time. Building up the terror that only the victim will know about before their death; it’s an extra special secret you get to carry with you.

I went old school and broke in to the apartment of a student I knew lived alone. Her roommate was an assistant at the office and she was going on vacation for the week, so I waited a few hours after she left for work and then I snuck in through a slightly open window – thank you heatwave. I spent some time familiarizing myself with the space and leaving myself an escape route, and then I hid and waited for her to return.

In the meantime, I found her number and made a phone call from my prepaid phone. Naturally, she didn’t answer an unfamiliar number so I left a message saying I was with the security company for the building and she needed to come home to check on a possible theft. I said I would meet her outside the building and she should call when she arrived. She called shortly after and I said I’d been detained but I should head up to the super’s office to check in. She called to ask who I was actually with since the super had no idea what I was talking about. I confessed I wasn’t with the building but I did notice her door was open and didn’t want to scare her by being a random stranger who knew where she lived.

She didn’t ask how I knew it was her apartment or how I got her number.

She just hung up on me.

When she walked into her apartment, she was on the phone with the police who seemed to be telling her that they’d be sending over an officer to check but if there was no evidence of tampering, her apartment was a safe place to hole up.

Once she hung up, I called and began to taunt her. I started by asking if she was home and if she had checked for anything stolen. And if she was safe. When she hung up, I called again and heightened my language just a little, getting angrier and more dangerous. And it just escalated like that for the next fifteen minutes until she finally got so scared and upset that she refused to answer. She started to dial (presumably the police) but I called again and she dropped her phone, breaking it.

Modern phones, I tell ya. They ain’t like they used to be.

Well, that part of the fun was over so I went straight to the best part of a murder: the actually killing.

Before she could run out the door in fear, I grabbed her from behind and slit her throat. She was dead before the police officer could knock on the door. I was out the window before they could bust down the door.

What I loved most about it was the anticipation. The options and the excitement that builds when you know that death is inevitable. It was no my favourite kills but the entire act was incredibly fun. And she played her part well. Trying to be logical but as she got more terrified, all thoughts turned to survival. You think if you were in that situation, you would do better but I can tell you from experience: everyone has a survival mode and it gets activated whether you like it or not.

So if, for example, you have to make the choice between one child’s life and the other, you think you might find a magical third option where everyone gets to live but it isn’t that simple. At least it doesn’t seem that way.

Who knows; maybe I’ll find the victim who gets the creepy phone call and never answers or acts on it. Maybe there is someone out there who can figure out how to survive logically. Maybe there is someone who will run out the front door at the first sign of trouble.

God, I hope there is.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

Wednesday, 10 July 2019

Your Mid-Week Update for 07/10/19


Dear readers, recent events may have called for one more...

Last murder. 

I'm not sure just yet. This will either be a final end or a brand new beginning. Time will tell and today is not the day for decisions.

Today is a day for mourning.

This is more difficult to talk about than I expected. 

Casey is not my daughter. She's not Sandra. She's barely family. I realize she has been put into a lot of difficult situations that she had absolutely no say in but she hasn't earned my trust by her silence. And O can't just believe her now.

But like I said: today is not a day for deciding who lives and dies. That's tomorrow's problem.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

Wednesday, 3 July 2019

Your Mid-Week Update for 07/03/19


There still is no word from Jason. We also haven’t been caught by the police. So there’s that.

Charlotte, however, is very dead.

It isn’t enough. What I did to her. I couldn’t. I had a plan. And I carried it out. So she’s dead and the initial investigators think it’s a suicide. I stood as a frightened witness as they surveyed the crime scene just to make sure. I know it was a risk to show my face so close to a group of people who want to arrest me but I had to make sure that this would be over.

They’ll go to her house next. They should have done it by now. And they’ll have found all the evidence they need to draw the conclusion I need them to. Now I’m still waiting for it to go back to normal.

Of course with Charlotte’s death also comes one conclusion: I’m done with murder. I said this would be the last and if this is how I keep my family safe, this is how I do it.

I’m going to miss it. The satisfaction of hearing bones pop out of their place. The taste of blood under my fingernails. The look in their eyes as the lights finally dim. The horror. The peace. The sad acceptance. Taking control like that. Flexing my creative muscles. It’s so intoxicating.

I’ll have to find something else to fill the void. Something that requires less secrecy. Although that was fun, too. God, I’ve been two people for so long, I can’t even imagine going back to one.

What do you even do with all that free time and energy? Have couple’s dates? Do pottery? Get a timeshare? What is that?

Actually James and I have a timeshare in Florida and it’s a really good way to vacation for cheap.

Maybe we’ll vacation more. Or maybe it’s dangerous to travel so much when you were so recently under suspicion of murder. I’ve so rarely been accused of my own crimes. I suppose I won’t have to be so cautious anymore. I’ll still have to sleep with one eye open for many years for fear of revenge murderers. I killed many people and presumably at least one of them had an unstable relative who won’t rest until their killer is caught.

Aww. So many people will never get to rest and will die unfulfilled. That’s so sad.

But that also means I get to live which I really appreciate.

I’m just feeling really mixed about not killing people anymore. I need my son back. Having that reminder of why I’m quitting will help everything. I wish I knew where he was. I need him back.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe