Your Mid-Week Update for 02/05/20

I sometimes wonder what my life would be like if I’d never met James. I try not to think about it too often because the answer is always “dead or in jail”. That man saved my butt, and he knows I didn’t marry him for love but he still stuck around until I figured it out.

I will never tire of talking about how much I love him.

But that wasn’t always the case. And I didn’t always trust him. And the way I made sure I could trust people was to create a dossier. Blackmail for when things inevitably went south.

I made one for James. I looked into his life, his family and friends, his whole sordid history. And I kept that file in a box along with my journals so that it was always safe from any prying eyes – including his.

I’ve never told him. He might understand but I hate even the possibility of putting doubt into his mind.

When I knew I could trust him, I burned the file. But it doesn’t erase all that research from my mind.

So why didn’t I know about Casey?

I looked into her – Casey’s mother. I knew about their relationship; I was always fine with it even if he was nervous to tell me about it. But she didn’t have a daughter. Not with anyone. I don’t know why I didn’t look more into it when he first brought her home. I mean she looks like him.

There was a thing on social media last night. A call for information across the country. About a girl who ran away from a juvenile detention centre a week’s drive from where we are. She was wanted for attempted murder

Bore a striking resemblance to Casey.

I confronted James about it after she’d gone to bed. I wanted him to tell me first. And he told me; about finding her in hiding after escaping, about realizing her potential, about claiming her as his own because he knew I would never deny her then.

He’s right. I’d forgive him anything, but keeping a girl like that secret without a personal connection would have been harder.

He didn’t expect the manhunt to extend this far and now we’re all in danger.

I have a few options now. I could kill her, hide all evidence that we ever knew her. We could go on the run. We’ve done it before; just uproot our lives again. Or we could help her escape.

Trouble with the first option is, I’m too far gone. She’s mine now and I can’t kill her even if she was never James’ to begin with. I could uproot my life if that were the only option but I would resent them both for making me do it again.

The only option is to help her. Make it official – we have all the forged documents already. But as long as they’re looking for her, she’ll never be safe. So, we make sure they stop searching.

I suppose whether I like it or not, I have a daughter to protect.

I asked him why he did it. Why he put us all at risk. Why we lost Jason.

He told me that I looked lonely. That he knew I needed someone to take care of. Someone I could share my passions with. Someone I could love again. So he picked up a stray who needed a home and we made a new family together.

I will never tire of talking about how much I love him.

But if I’m going to keep all of my loved ones safe, I need to find a body that will pass for Casey and make sure no one hurts my family again.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe