Your Mid-Week Update for 05/27/20

Of all the people to contact me at five o’clock this morning. It’s like the universe knew I wanted some normalcy and for me, normalcy is chaos.

I got a call from an unknown number. Normally, I avoid them because…obviously (this is 2020).

But it’s Jason’s birthday today. I had this insane hope that he would call – just to let me know that he’s okay. I think about him every day. Wonder how he’s doing. If leaving us was good for him. If he was happy wherever he was. So many times, I’ve thought about trying to find him. But that would only push him further away.

Still, when I got that call, I hoped that he was coming back to us on his own.

Nope.

It was Heather.

Fucking Heather of all people decided to call me at five o’clock in the morning. I haven’t talked to her since we moved. She was understanding and we promised to occasionally contact each other just to keep updated but we really haven’t. This is the second time she’s called me at this number. The first was a text that read “Merry Christmas”. She didn’t call me from her number, though.

That should have been a bigger read flag.

When I answered she was clearly drunk and babbling about feeling guilty for what she’d done. I didn’t realize she was still feeling guilty for killing her husband – that was over three years ago – I thought we’d worked past it. I thought I had helped her.

I leave for a couple of months and apparently, she spiraled hard. She said she missed me – missed having her friend. She needed someone who understood what she’d gone through.

She was scared and alone and drunk at 5am on a Wednesday.

Needless to say, I’m about to do something very stupid. I’m going to go pick her up.

It took some coaxing to get her to tell me where she was but I think she’s asleep now. I can’t leave her like that. I wasn’t lying: Heather is my best friend and, yeah, I feel a little responsible for what’s she’s going through.

I didn’t murder her husband but I didn’t help matters by letting her in on my world. And then I left.

I haven’t decided what I’m going to do when I pick her up but I have a few hours to figure that out.

Maybe I’ll take her out for ice cream? Maybe I’ll bring her back to the house. Not sure yet.

So instead of celebrating my son’s birthday with him, I’m going to go rescue my best friend from herself.

Chaos.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe