Where the fuck is all the fucking snow? The only thing I was looking forward to doing this winter was dismembering bodies and hiding them in the snow to be discovered in the spring. Imagine people waking up one morning in March to discover the city has blossomed overnight with limbs and heads and intestines. Like a garden of gore.
Fuck, I’m really
disappointed about this.
I don’t know what it’s
like for y’all, but usually this time of year, I can’t leave the house with
less than three layers on. I am used to complaining about living in the cold
but enjoying the snow because it means I can freeze a body and leave it to be
found later. I’ve talked about this many times. If you’ve been following my
journey for a few years you know that I love going on rants about how great
snow is for murdering people.
Precipitation is a
killer’s best friend.
But this year, for
whatever reason (please note the sarcasm in my typing), I haven’t had to wear
my winter boots once this season. I haven’t had to break out any of the heavy
gear, the temperature hasn’t dropped low enough to warrant pouring the road salt.
Now, I’m not
complaining about the weather.
Well, I am.
But I’m not mad about
how warm it is. I’m mad that there’s no snow.
I understand the juxtaposition.
Let me be mad about this. This is something petty I can complain about that has
no actual bearing on my life or the lives of my family. It’s new. I like it. I
like getting to be a petty bitch sometimes and complain about shit completely
outside of my control so I can go back to my life and deal with the horrible
things that are in my control but suck so much.
And lately, that feels
like a lot. It feels like there are a lot of things that are big. And maybe I
can make a difference but everything is hard and everything is huge and there’s
no end in sight to any of it. The one thing I was looking forward to was some
familiarity in the winter. Having some hope that things can be normal again (if
that’s even a thing). If this is the new normal, I just need to know so I can
move on and actually figure some things about. Because right now, it feels like
I’m just making do. I’m getting tired.
And on top of it all:
there’s no fucking snow.
This wasn’t a really
funny entry.
Sorry.
As always, dear
readers,
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