For all my skills with a blade, I am terrified of giving haircuts. James typically likes his hair short so I just give him a buzzcut every few months. I’ve only nicked him once and that was early on in our marriage when I was used to shaving past the scalp (I completely forgot about razors when doing my “skinning someone alive” experiment. I’ll have to save that for the next one).
I hate my hair at
this length. Too long to wear down – especially when I’m in the Murder Den –
too short to wear up. So it just… exists. Hate it. I’m not going to get a
haircut because I’m being a responsible citizen but it’s still frustrating not
to be able to do little things like get a haircut.
When I kill, I do
it because I want to – I need to (the line between need and want is blurry here)
– but it’s not because I refuse to be a decent human being and follow the
mandated by-laws meant to keep people safe.
Am I saying I’m
better than people who refuse to wear a mask? Absolutely.
I try to keep
politics and shit out of this blog (the more you know about the world I live
in, the easier it’ll be to find me… despite, keeping a blog diary about my
personal life) but you know how I feel about being denied basic things that I
need and want. I tend to get a little crazy.
So maybe, I spent
the weekend with two middle-aged men who thought they didn’t need a mask while
at the grocery store, explaining to them why it’s important for everyone to do
their part. And maybe I explained that by cutting off tiny piece of their face
and hands until they bled to death.
Typically, the
cause of death with my work is “exsanguination”. Your body loses enough blood,
and it’ll just give up. Unless it’s poison. Then it could be a blood clot,
heart failure, brain… malfunction.
Look, I didn’t go
to medical school. If I did, I’d be a lot easier to catch because they’d be
looking for someone with surgical precision. My lack of medical knowledge will
be my saving grace. That said, I am much more skilled than the average serial
killer but it’s more of a “learn as you go” skill. Which is, frankly, how I
prefer to learn.
Practical
application is always more fun than theory. I was never made for the classroom.
And I was not made
for hair that is this length and impossible to manage.
Maybe I should
just shave it off.
As always, dear
readers,
Stay Safe
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