Your Midweek Update for 03/10/21

For all my skills with a blade, I am terrified of giving haircuts. James typically likes his hair short so I just give him a buzzcut every few months. I’ve only nicked him once and that was early on in our marriage when I was used to shaving past the scalp (I completely forgot about razors when doing my “skinning someone alive” experiment. I’ll have to save that for the next one).

I hate my hair at this length. Too long to wear down – especially when I’m in the Murder Den – too short to wear up. So it just… exists. Hate it. I’m not going to get a haircut because I’m being a responsible citizen but it’s still frustrating not to be able to do little things like get a haircut.

When I kill, I do it because I want to – I need to (the line between need and want is blurry here) – but it’s not because I refuse to be a decent human being and follow the mandated by-laws meant to keep people safe.

Am I saying I’m better than people who refuse to wear a mask? Absolutely.

I try to keep politics and shit out of this blog (the more you know about the world I live in, the easier it’ll be to find me… despite, keeping a blog diary about my personal life) but you know how I feel about being denied basic things that I need and want. I tend to get a little crazy.

So maybe, I spent the weekend with two middle-aged men who thought they didn’t need a mask while at the grocery store, explaining to them why it’s important for everyone to do their part. And maybe I explained that by cutting off tiny piece of their face and hands until they bled to death.

Typically, the cause of death with my work is “exsanguination”. Your body loses enough blood, and it’ll just give up. Unless it’s poison. Then it could be a blood clot, heart failure, brain… malfunction.

Look, I didn’t go to medical school. If I did, I’d be a lot easier to catch because they’d be looking for someone with surgical precision. My lack of medical knowledge will be my saving grace. That said, I am much more skilled than the average serial killer but it’s more of a “learn as you go” skill. Which is, frankly, how I prefer to learn.

Practical application is always more fun than theory. I was never made for the classroom.

And I was not made for hair that is this length and impossible to manage.

Maybe I should just shave it off.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe