I am allowed to breathe. That’s what I keep reminding myself. My mind continuously runs through all the ways things could have – and could still – go wrong. What if we had been caught sneaking into that woman’s house? What if she had fought harder and won (unlikely but it still lives under the list of worst-case scenarios)? What if Casey hadn’t wanted to go? What if we were too late to save her? What if someone recognized my sister and came looking? What if the police questioned out story about her running away? What if Casey wanted to return to her mother or resented us for taking her away?
I can’t stop
thinking about what COULD HAVE gone wrong but the truth is: none of that
happened. We did sneak inside, we did subdue the woman, Casey was weak but came
willingly, no one recognized my sister even as witnesses described her to local
police. Casey does not resent us nor has anyone come around questioning our
cover story.
It’s okay to take
a breather after such a stressful few weeks. This is the time to return to our
normal routine. Most of her teachers have been understanding of the
circumstances surrounding her absence – and yet, still insist that she make up
the work that she lost in time for the end of the school year. I’ve offered to
help but she’s still been quiet and isolating herself. Not that I would be much
help with eleventh grade math. Despite being in a math-related field I have not
had to apply trigonometry in quite a few years. I’m still giving her the space
she needs. We’re both here for her if and when she needs us. Admittedly, part
of my desire to support her is so I can find out what exactly happened in that
room. She’s been tight-lipped about the entire affair – which, again, I
understand – but I can’t do anything about it until she talks to me.
You see my predicament?
You know I hate to be patient. For her, I’ll try but I want it stated for the
record: I’m not happy about it.
I just want
everything to go back to the way it was. Or at least, I want everyone to be
okay. It’s heartless, I know, which is why I’ll never tell Casey any of this
but I just want to put these past few weeks behind us. Forget it ever happened.
I know we can’t and I know she can’t so for now, I will be patient.
I haven’t killed
anyone since we got back, either. It doesn’t feel right. I’ll get back to it
eventually but for now, we’re taking a moment to regroup. I told James we need
to go check out the Murder Den and clean out anything that might be decomposing
in there. Ants are a nightmare, let me tell you. One piece of flesh and suddenly
there’s a swarm of ants under your porch for the rest of the summer. We’re
going to go down there this weekend to air it out and do some cleaning. I
wonder if we should invite Casey to come along. We never invited her before but
maybe this could be a way to show her that we trust her.
I know I’m
pushing! I told you: I’m an impatient person. But I don’t think it’s a good
idea to get her out of the house for something other than school. If anything,
she needs some fresh air – or semi-fresh since in a storage container at the edge
of town that normally houses dead and rotting bodies. It’s supposed to be nice
this weekend. Maybe a family outing will help.
As always, dear
readers,
Stay Safe
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