Your Midweek Update for 02/16/22

I could never stomach living somewhere tropical. As much as I love being able to feel my fingers as I drive to work, I wouldn’t be nearly as satisfied with my life if I weren’t surrounded by snow.

Every time it snows, you talk about how much you love it. We get it!

Every time it snows, I’m reminded of how grateful I am that mother nature is just as murderous as I am. She must take some pleasure in the people she destroys, otherwise why would she keep doing it? Snow isn’t anywhere close to the top of kill list.

I suppose that would be one advantage to living in a warmer climate: the natural disasters. How many people could I kill in a hurricane? It would be so easy to impale them with debris or drown them in the ensuing flood. Leaving them to be taken by the storm doesn’t count towards my kill count because I wasn’t the one who made the light leave their eyes.

Tornados would be fun, too. So much chaos; and everyone hasn’t fled, they’re just in hiding. I would be free to walk around stabbing or dismembering stragglers dumb enough to be on the streets in the middle of a fucking volcano. Or I could break in to people’s homes and make it look like looters.

Killing someone when they believe they’re safe is delicious. It’s the extra layer of betrayal that’s in their expression when they realize that no matter what they did or do, they would never be safe. They trusted society to respect their safety and then I walked in and stole it. All while the world literally crumbles around them. The emotional damage inflicted on victims of home invasion is too good not to pass up.

But I like snow, too. Everything is quieter and the world hides any ugliness you leave behind. It’s calm and smooth and underneath it all, there could be anything: a broken sidewalk, a bent stop sign, a woman who just ran to the corner store for a few things and ended up bleeding out in the upper parking garage of her building, buried in snow for a whole week before anyone discovered her.

What I could do without is the inconsistency. One day it’s blizzarding, the next it’s practically summer. It makes choosing where to bury my bodies so frustrating. They could be in that snow drift for weeks, or they could be discovered by the end of the day. It depends on how much of a bitch mother nature feels like being. Next time I pick up my entire life and run away, I’m headed for the North Pole.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

Your Midweek Update for 02/09/22

 The more space I get, the better I feel. That's not to say I'm 100% better but I'm not staying up all night, unable to think about anything but my own hurt. I'm ready to move on to hurting other people. Back to normalcy.

Besides, there's a whole new city to adjust to - new hunting grounds, new hiding spots, a whole new demographic of victims. I needed a distraction and this is the perfect one.

I've spent the past two nights just wandering around after dark (which is getting later every day), just getting to know the area. Lots of local stores that close at 6pm every night, lots of streetlights with poor upkeep, lots of uncollected trash. It's unfortunately quiet in a lot of areas so I might have to keep my kills to the hipster region just north of downtown. 

Side note: Uptown and Downtown don't really mean anything anymore - nor are they geographically accurate. But I know that I can say: the uptown kids party way too hard which makes them a very easy target for my first few months of kills. 

The risk, of course, with murdering rich people is that other people tend to care. That's problematic for a few reasons - not the least of which is that it makes my job so much harder.  

Still, it's very satisfying to cut off someone's nose knowing it was probably redone a few times since they first got it. Or to steal a purse to make it seem like their bludgeoning was a botched robbery, and just tearing it to shreds because there's no way I can actually steal their purse without getting caught.

That's the nice thing about killing middle class people: you can steal their shit and no one will notice because nobody cares. As much as it hurts me to think of how little human beings care about one another, it is also very easy to do my job when there's no one looking at the woman bleeding out in the alley. 

My entire life is about taking advantage of societies inherent biases and this is just another example of how the world is working to the benefit of a serial killer. Take that how you will.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

Excerpt of Bluebird At My Window by H. Noah

I am thrilled to be hosting a spot on the BLUEBIRD AT MY WINDOW by H. Noah Blog Tour hosted by Rockstar Book Tours. Check out my post and make sure to enter the giveaway!

 

Excerpt of Star Wars The High Republic: Midnight Horizon by Daniel Jose Older

I am thrilled to be hosting a spot on the STAR WARS THE HIGH REPUBLIC: MIDNIGHT HORIZON by Daniel José Older Blog Tour hosted by Rockstar Book Tours. Check out my post and make sure to enter the giveaway!

 

Your Midweek Update for 02/02/22

 Not that I normally would but I will not be divulging my location. I've left the city - taken Casey and just left everything behind. All of my belongings are still at the house, I sent an email to my boss telling him I would be taking an indefinite leave and if he wants to fire me, he's free to take all of the belongings in my office and burn them. 

I didn't tell James. Part of me thinks I should have but the idea of talking to him right now - even a phone call or a text - is too much. 

We're somewhere new, somewhere we've never been before, staying at an Air BnB until I can find a temporary job and a place to live. Casey's classes are back to online anyways so it doesn't really matter where we are. I haven't decided how long I'll be gone, or if I want to come back at all. Maybe we'll take off and never go home again. Or maybe we'll go back tomorrow, I don't know. I just know that I can't be there right now without my heart hurting.

I'm making the right decision, aren't I? 

Am I doing the right thing? 

It feels a little like running away but I just couldn't stay there any more. But I know that can't last. He was such a huge part of my life - he was my life - and I don't know what to do without him. 

I miss him but I hate him but I love him but he makes me sad and hurt and angry. 

I wish I could kill him.

Not out of anger just... That's usually solve my problems. But with him, I can't. 

If I loved him any less...

Yes, I read the classics, shut up. It's a phrase that feels fitting right now. If only I hadn't gotten attached. I fell for him just as hard as he fell for me and it makes it all so much harder to untangle our lives when the inevitable parting has come. 

I should have seen it coming but I won't make that mistake again. 

So I've left. Space will help me remember where my true passions are and why it's so important to have no attachments (beyond my daughter - my humanizer). Time will help me forget the life I'm leaving behind for however long I can stand it.

I am weak for him. I was weak for him.

Never again.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe

Release Day for Shadow Bound Souls by Steve Rudy

I am thrilled to be hosting a spot on the SHADOW BOUND SOULS by Steven Rudy Blog Tour hosted by Rockstar Book Tours. Check out my post and make sure to enter the giveaway! Link in bio.

Excerpt of The Sun Casts No Shadow By Mark Richardson

I am thrilled to be hosting a spot on the THE SUN CASTS NO SHADOW by Mark Richardson Blog Tour hosted by Rockstar Book Tours. Check out my post and make sure to enter the giveaway!