Your Midweek Update for 03/02/22

 We're not going to talk about why I missed last week's update. We're not going to talk about whose bed I slept in. And we're not going to talk about the fact that I've seen him twice since then.

We're going to call him Ben. Ben works at the craft store across the street from my new office. Ben is about a decade my junior. Buck gives really good head. You know when you look at someone's face and you just know their jaw muscles are built for cunnilingus? That's Ben.

We don't do a ton of talking but I know that he's sweet and polite and even though he has a hint of a "southern hospitality vibe about him", he's never once called me "ma'am". It's a routine I could definitely get used to: work, orgasm, murder, home. 

Neither of us are looking for a relationship - he says he isn't the type of settle but I think he's just too pretentious to keep a girlfriend for more than a few months. He's like a hipster who's built like a lumberjack. The second time we had sex, he kept the beanie on. 

But you know what? I don't want to kill him. For once, I want to keep something all to myself that I get to keep for more than one night. Having that assurance than I don't have to hide our rendezvous, I can meet him out in the open and not worry about witnesses tying me to his disappearance or death. I can just relax and have a good time and get my jollies elsewhere. There's still plenty of people to murder. I've never been much of a black widow but I also haven't had a romantic partner that wasn't also my husband in nearly 15 years. 

What's the protocol when you're a serial killer and casually dating? Is it a faux pas to kill your lover or is it expected? I don't know the procedure here. It feels like there's an expectation of murder which means I'm going against the grain by keeping Ben alive. 

Fun fact: the g-spot was named for a man named Grafenburg who first identified it. Is it great that most body parts on the female body are named after men? No. Are we surprised at all? Also no.

My point is: I'm not ready to kill Ben just yet. Which means I'm just going to have to get over the social stigma of keeping my lovers alive.

Life is hard by we persevere.

As always, dear readers,

Stay Safe