I’m perpetually amazed at the lengths of my own patience. Or, rather, I’m amazed at how much bullshit I’ll put up with before I finally rid the world of another idiot.
You would
think I had learned my lesson about killing people I’m even remotely connected
to – especially in the workplace – but some people are too dumb to live, even
if their office is two away from mine. I know committing murder when I’m still
in my three-month probation period is not the best idea I’ve ever had but
neither is calling Ben at 1am and having sex in the back of his truck. We’re
making all sorts of bad decisions this week.
I still
haven’t murdered Ben, in case any of you were wondering whether or not I’ve
become emotionally attached to my new pet. It would have been so easy to kill
him a thousand times. When I was riding his cock, I could have slit his throat;
but then I got distracted thinking about whether continuing to fuck him while
he was bleeding out would be considered necrophilia.
We’re not
going to talk about the orgasm I had while thinking about necrophilia. I don’t
think we’re quite there yet in our relationship.
Although
congratulations, dear readers, you are officially the longest and healthiest
relationship I’ve ever been in.
Back to the
idiot at work I probably shouldn’t have killed.
The work I’m
doing is very simple and barely requires the necessity to come into work but the
company insists on it. It’s mostly calling people and coordinating donations
and then filing those sponsors in the system. Not exactly a skill-heavy
position – which was good for me because skill-less positions tend to not look
as closing at people’s fake IDs – and yet some people still manage to screw it
up.
This
working for the company for years and yet she managed to lose thousands of
dollars without any repercussions. She hasn’t been stealing it, mind you, a
little thievery I can forgive, she genuinely screwed up so much data entry that
she lost track of over $5600 that is just floating around the internet somewhere.
Being an
inherently good person, I went to talk to her first, but it quickly became
clear that she had no idea what I was talking about. And that is when I realized
that skill-less jobs should still include the ability to count to ten without
using your toes.
She had to
go.
I reported
her error to her supervisor and when he called her in for a meeting, I followed
her home, suffocated her with a plastic bag, packed as many of her belongings
as I could fit into her car, and drove both of them out of town. She is
currently wanted for fraud and they will likely never find her body at the
bottom of the river in the next town over.
It was a clean
enough kill; I’m just having flashbacks of all the times I’ve killed a coworker
and it’s gone horribly wrong. Especially since I had to involve myself further
in order to make the cover story work. But I mean, who would report someone for
fraud and THEN kill them? It makes no sense.
At least I’m
hoping that’s what the detective thinks – especially since her case is being
treated as a person of interest rather than a homicide.
Like I
said, not a lot of amazing decisions being made this week but we’re persevering.
As always,
dear readers,
Stay Safe
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