Is time blindness a symptom of COVID? I woke up yesterday and was absolutely certain that it was Saturday. I realized in time for work but then I was absolutely certain, again, that it was Thursday. If you would have told me it was Tuesday, I would have fought you on it.
I don’t
understand how the mind works and why it occasionally decides to stop working.
It’s not as though anything unusual has happene
…
I realized
as I was typing just how wrong that statement was going to be. Again, I know
something is wrong because I forgot that stress can affect sleep and lack of
sleep causes memory loss.
See, I know
science things. Usually only science things that pertain to murder but also
non-murder science things.
I know why
I’ve been tired and erratic lately – and you all do, too. I’m just a little tired
of being…tired. What I wouldn’t give to be able to go back in time to the way
it was before I knew the truth.
Not even to
before the love of my life fell in love with someone else. I think if I could
live in blissful ignorance forever, I would. It’s incredibly selfish of me to
ask him to fide his feelings but I would make that request over and over again
if it meant I could think about it without throwing someone off a ledge with
tears in my eyes. I wouldn’t be forgetting the days if my life hadn’t been
completely upended.
I know you’ve
heard me bitch about all this before but you may be surprised to learn this
heartbreak doesn’t go away over night. I was certainly shocked. Most of my break
ups ended in murder. How was I to know?
Casey, for
the most part, is enjoying this new town – this anonymity. She still so young
and excited about murder. She’s building her own routines, making her own
mistakes and cleaning them up herself. For the most part. I did have to flush a
toe down a Starbucks toilet but all’s well that ends well. She’s coming into
her own and I’m so proud of her. I just feel like I’m not at 100% so how can I
enjoy it?
I want to
be happy for her – I am happy for her – but I just don’t… feel it.
What am I
supposed to do?
As always,
dear readers,
Stay Safe
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